Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Standing in the rain

I'm not the most religious person I know, but I do rely on faith. I was reading my friend's blog about her son, who is spending the first days of his life the neonatal intensive care unit. She shared an email her friend sent her about fairness, and it really struck me. She cites Matthew 5:44-45.
Often times I think, "Why me? Why me, God? Haven't I endured enough?" I wonder why bad things happen in succession. I'm not the greatest person out there; I sin and make bad choices like everyone does. But sometimes I feel so wronged by God, like I have a disproportionate load. I just wish He would give me a break - give me a time to come up for air.
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
One time during my out-patient program this spring, a high school girl with bipolar disorder said to me that if you didn't have rainy days, you wouldn't be able to appreciate the sunshine. False. Going through horrible things doesn't makes me a better person. Surviving postpartum depression or the rapes or the abuse or the eating disorder or my surgery doesn't make me a better person.

Being a victim doesn't make me a better person.

We all survive things. We all are victims of hard times, of trials, of tribulations. It rains on the good and the bad; it rains on us all.

But what we do when it rains is what distinguishes us.

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