Most of all, I am grateful for Isaiah. Grateful for his short life. I know that if given the choice between not knowing him and not knowing grief or knowing him and experiencing a grief like you have never known before...I would pick him. Over and over I would pick him.It made me think of M. I am so, so grateful she is here. She is healthy. She is happy. I dropped off into the darkest place of my life after she was born. I thought of suicide often. I felt so hopeless and so horrible every day, every moment. But when I see M, I know that the love I feel for her is worth any hell I had to go through. Every minute I spend with her is better than any minute before she came into our lives.
I love the way Lee Anne put it: "Over and over I would pick him." That's how I feel, too. Over and over, I would pick M.